I had to survive.

When I got to Hilo, I was maxed out when it came to money.

I was flipping clothes. Mind you, I was good. I was slowly understanding the market of aloha wear. I carefully watched how the process in instagram worked. I would buy and sell on online platforms, physical thrifting shops and garage sales.

Later, I learned that flipping clothes from what I buy online saves me time and gas. Time was a very crucial resource for me to get started on my coffee cart. That being said, I was very observant, fast and always on my toes with anything I can purchase online, mostly instagram.

I was consistent. I knew there’d be a problem if I lacked inventory. I kept posting clothes to sell, and kept buying.

Eventually, the amount of followers I had, grew. I have a bigger audience. Slowly, hate was coming my way.

Telling me that I was exploiting the very sense of Aloha wear and pricing it too high. There would be those who’d bash me for earning a piece through a trade and price it too high. Even those that I looked up to as I was starting out, turned their backs on me. There were many that I was thankful for, for being supportive since the beginning, yet they were also the very same people who spoked ill / blocked me.

In my mind, these are all material things. Many of these clothes or fabric is still made outside Hawaii. It made no sense to put hate on someone who paid for an item, saw demand for it, and sold it for profit.

I ask myself… am I wrong for needing money to pay my bills? The haters can’t even contribute anything to a life I aim for. Is it my fault that I understand the value of these pieces, despite me being an immigrant? Would keeping a person alive be more important than your lack of money to pay for something that’s highly in demand?

These thoughts would not reach my reselling page. I have to be professional about it. I know that not alot of people will understand. I get sad, furious, angry and betrayed. Even though reselling gives me the income to survive, I want to get out of it so bad. Although I’d say that it has made me very resilient.

Had to let go of any negativity that came through me. I put a lot of effort in running that page, and if you’ll bash me for it, you don’t deserve to see the creativity I worked very hard for. No one could think beyond the idea of these as “material”, till they have to survive.

I learned that sharing my story over and over again would not change people’s minds. I had to accept that many people will just hate me and it’s okay. I have my morals, and I stick to them. At this point, I have a dream, living in Hawaii is not easy, I am by myself, and I’m just doing everything I can to survive.

If you don’t get that, then get out of my way. I have many other things to think about. The world has bigger problems.

:)